Back From My First Pastors' Conference...

I guess that makes me a real pastor now?

As you could tell from last week's post, there's plenty that God gave me to chew on at the conference. I'd like to share some of the highlights here, especially since these are things that are already starting to inform my ministry here in Seattle.

The first is this great message that Dr. Kevin Park gave about the importance of serving from our weakness so that Christ's power may be made perfect in us and in our ministries. I find that time and again over the past year I've encountered my limitations, and there have been moments when it's been paralyzing. I've felt overwhelmed, wondering if I could really make any impact, or if I could really keep up with the needs of my congregants and church.

Serving out of weakness, however, means not looking inside myself for more strength or resolve, but admitting that sooner or later I'm going to fail. And this is an amazingly refreshing thing to hear. It frees me to stop trying to cover up or defend my mistakes. It frees me to stop thinking of excuses for when I don't meet someone else's expectations. It frees me to simply be who I am: someone imperfect who's trying to love others as best he can (and help others do the same) because he has first been loved by God.

We followed up the message by getting into small groups and entering into a time of sharing. That was good, but I kind of wish we could have stayed on that riff for awhile. I think I would have liked to have heard more stories of weakness...and of Christ's strength manifesting itself perfectly during those moments. As it was, I was refreshed by hearing a few of the older clergy and professors in the group share from their experiences.

Just a few days after returning from this conference, I had a conversation with some church members about what they hoped to see in our ministry in the upcoming year. Interestingly, a theme I heard repeated from them was: "making our ministry great". One thing I hope characterizes our ministry is greatness, that is, greatness in Christ's strength made perfect in our flaws and mistakes. In other words, I hope we're a ministry that fails well, and rejoices at every chance we get to see Christ's power manifested. I hope we become a ministry that never fears falling flat on our faces, joyful in knowing that every time we fall, it gives Christ a chance to shine.

Perhaps this is kind of illogical or backwards thinking, but I think that this paradox is at the heart of ministry, at the heart of the gospel. Not that we are accepted and loved by God because we are good, but that since we are accepted and loved by God regardless of what we have done we therefore strive to obey him.

One last thing about the rabbit.

Professor Eunny Lee shared an amazing word on the last morning of the conference about waiting upon the Lord. I think, by the way, that "waiting on God" is going to be one of the themes I preach on a lot during the upcoming year. As part of her word, she brought up the story another professor had told her about a rabbit that he had found dead in his pool. Tragically, this rabbit fell into his pool during the night, and when the professor had gone to clean his pool the next morning he found the poor animal.

The reason why Professor Lee shared this story with us was because of the posture of the dead animal. You see, this rabbit had not only drowned in the pool, it had drowned while straining with all of its might to run out of the water. Until its last second it strained with anticipation for the surface, for the oxygen that it so desperately needed. This, Professor Lee shared, is the kind of waiting Isaiah speaks about in chapter 40.

But thank God that we are not like the rabbit. Our waiting is not only done in hope, it is done in sure hope. God's eye is always upon us, and his hand is always near us, and there is no way that we will ever stay in the pool long. Unlike the rabbit, when we cry he hears us. We are never alone, and we are never without hope.