So there's a verse in Matthew 12 that goes like this, "Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven people, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven." The context is Jesus speaking to his listeners after the religious elites of his day, the Pharisees, accuse him (behind his back) of getting the power to do miracles from an evil source.
Just after I finished seminary I had the great opportunity to be trained in ministry under a pastor in New Jersey who I still look to as one of my mentors. We were able to spend a lot of time together, and I was invited a few times to sit in on a few counseling sessions with him. One of the things that I got out of those invaluable times was the fact that worrying over one's spiritual condition could often lead in some really positive directions.
Worry is a dangerous thing. It can spiral out of control, and it's often rooted in a lack of trust in God. We worry more the most distant and judgmental God seems from us. But what I heard often enough in these counseling sessions and have seen in my own work with people is that sometimes worry, especially when it had to do with one's standing with God, was often a sign that your conscience (itself a tool of the Holy Spirit) was working. In short, worry meant that you didn't have to worry (as long as you took the appropriate actions as a result).
Followers of Christ sometimes read Matthew 12:31 and fear that there is this edge to God's forgiveness. When we read the phrase, "will not be forgiven" we fear that there's the possibility that we can somehow slip up and accidentally fall off of God's ability to forgive. This is just foolish. The fact that you worry about this at all means that you haven't gone too far. In fact what Jesus is talking about is a continual prideful "hardening of the heart" against the truth of what God is doing. This doesn't happen by accident. Hardening your heart is continually telling yourself, "God can't do that. There's no way God would love like this. God can't use that person". Hardening your heart is continually telling God what role he is allowed to play, and that doesn't happen by accident.
If you worry about any aspect of your relationship with God, whether it's a fear that you may have accidentally blasphemed against the Spirit or you just haven't been feeling right with Him lately, know that this is a good first step. It means that your conscience has woken up, and there's a very good chance it was the Spirit himself in you doing the waking. That's right: God in you, at work.
But you've got to take some steps now. Don't sit there and wallow in your worry. Respond to it. Turn away from whatever you need to turn from. Do that thing now that you've been putting off. Call that person to ask for their help. Offer your help to that person in need.
Worry means God has lit a fire under you. It's time to stand up.
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PS: One of our United Lifers has made his way out to Hawaii for Discipleship Training School. You can read his updates here.
If the link doesn't work here's the url: http://cacacacalvin.blogspot.com/
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